Feeling Homesick? How to Manage It at College

A Rutgers Health psychologist discusses the causes of the distressed state – and ways of coping with it

Leaving for college – whether you are a first-year student or returning to continue your college career – is a major transition, one that can cause feelings of being lost, lonely or missing home. 

Homesickness is common at this stage in life and can arise at any time during a college student’s time away, although it is most common in the first few months. 

“Homesickness is not a weakness,” said Stephanie Marcello, chief psychologist at Rutgers University Behavioral Health Care. “It’s a natural part of adapting to a big life transition.” 

Marcello discusses how to manage homesickness and adjust to new surroundings.

Homesickness is not a weakness. It’s a natural part of adapting to a big life transition.

Stephanie Marcello

Chief Psychologist, Rutgers University Behavioral Health Care

Who can experience homesickness? 

Homesickness is very common. The highest incidence is typically with students who are leaving home for the first time. In fact, studies have shown that 70 percent of first-year students experience symptoms, which can put them at risk for adjustment difficulties. Homesickness tends to decrease after the first semester, but how fast a person overcomes it varies. About 30 percent of all students experience homesickness, which can occur at any point of the year. 

However, it’s important to note that homesickness usually fades as students settle into routines and connections. With time, most find that campus feels like a second home.

What are the signs of homesickness?

Physical signs can include disrupted sleep, lack of appetite, increased risk of infection – especially gastrointestinal – headaches and dizziness. The person might be consumed with thoughts of home or returning home, be pessimistic about their new environment or find concentration difficult.

They might experience depression, anxiety, irritability, sadness or feel isolated or alone. 

Are certain people predisposed to homesickness?

Yes. People who are dealing with other stressors and may have a lack of social support can be more prone to homesickness. 

Acknowledge your feelings. There is no right or wrong way to feel during this transition and there is no right or wrong time for it to appear.

According to a report from the Academy of Pediatrics, there are four main risk factors for homesickness. They may experience feelings of unfamiliarity brought on by a new experience. The attitude toward the new experience can be influential. So, sometimes expecting to be homesick can bring on a self-fulfilling prophecy. An individual’s personality and ability to warm up to new people and situations as well as outside factors, such as how much the person wanted to move in the first place and how the person’s friends and family back home are taking the move can affect a person’s propensity for becoming homesick. 

How can students cope with homesickness?

Acknowledge your feelings. There is no right or wrong way to feel during this transition and there is no right or wrong time for it to appear. And just as you can’t control when it starts, don’t stress about trying to control it when it goes away. Remind yourself this is a common, normal experience for students leaving home for the first time. 

Talk to your family and friends back home and also focus on building new connections and social relationships. Look at what you miss from home and figure out ways to recreate these aspects. For example: If you loved playing a sport at home, consider joining a sport on campus. Use your nostalgia to look for clues to what makes you feel happy.

Having an active, healthy lifestyle is important: Create new routines, get out of the dorm, eat healthy and exercise.

Thinking about small, concrete steps can be helpful. For example, attend one campus event per week, find a study buddy in each class, consider exploring the neighborhood for cafes and other community events, which can help create a sense of belonging. It can also be a good idea to bring small comforting things from home, such as favorite snacks or blankets.

Most importantly, if you are homesick talk to someone about your feelings. 

Homesickness can lead to depression. Pay attention if you notice the homesickness is affecting the student’s daily life.

What should students not do? 

Do not stay in your room, away from any events held on campus. Do not miss class. Even if you don’t feel like it, get out of your room and get involved. While it is important to stay connected with family and friends at home, you need a balance. Spending too much time on calls and social media can sometimes intensify homesickness. Focus on a healthy limit.

What should parents or roommates do to help? 

If parents or a roommate thinks a student is homesick, talk to them about getting involved and remind them about what they enjoy at home and how they might create some of these activities at school. Normalize their feelings and support them, but do not encourage them to come home too often. Instead, encourage them to get involved on campus and to build friendships. 

When should loved ones become concerned that the feelings are something more than homesickness?

Homesickness can lead to depression. Pay attention if you notice the homesickness is affecting the student’s daily life. If feelings of sadness or anxiety last more than two weeks, interfere with eating, sleeping or class attendance, or if students are having thoughts of hopelessness, it’s important to reach out to a counselor or health care provider. If a student remains disconnected, rejects opportunities to meet people and if the abovementioned symptoms persist, reach out to a professional for help.